Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Divine Creep


Sometimes my emotions seem to take over my day.
Own my day.
Choke my day.
Collapse wholeheartedly into every passing Hour.
Minute.
Breath.
Blink.

Before I even know what’s hitting me, they sneak up from behind, boldly strutting over my shoulder like a shadow-less spider creeping in. Light-footed and fast. Intricate and detailed. Terrifying yet oddly appealing, requiring more than just a glance.

I shyly surrender to these odd creatures, completely ignorant to their direction, their timing. I am blindly and eagerly led into the deep wilderness of Despair, Loneliness, Extreme and Utter Joy, not knowing what to do with any of them.

Like a rock to the windshield, I am caught breathless as my first few mindful layers are in fist-clenched denial.

Until.
Until the split forms.
The ice breaks.

Like an abrasive, uncompromising gash on my glass heart, my weak spots are revealed. And yes, some see it as that. Weakness. But I choose not to. I refuse, even.

One, because that’s just where I’m at.
Or maybe who I am.

And two, because my emotions have the divine capability to awaken me to what’s real. What’s eternal.

Through the revelation of these domestic beings, layers of my internal scabs are gently, sometimes ruthlessly ripped away as I see new colors and feel new textures of myself.

And that, to me, is worth it.

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